Job's First Day In Heaven...... Contd
This is the concluding part of the Job's story written by my hilarious friend Timi Price. Read, enjoy and share.........
"Very well," the LORD told Satan, "everything he owns is in your power. However, you must not lay a hand on Job himself." So Satan left the LORD's presence.
"Very well," the LORD told Satan, "everything he owns is in your power. However, you must not lay a hand on Job himself." So Satan left the LORD's presence.
Holman Christian Standard Bible, Jobs 1:12
“Take it easy, Job.
There is a very small explanation for this. Trust me” God said.
“God allowed Satan
to test your faith” Jesus said
“J-E-S-U-S!” God
called out his name.
“Dad, no use ripping
the bandage slowly. The wound has healed” Jesus defended himself
“It’s not in your
place to say, son!” God said
“What is Bandage”
Job asked.
“Its something that
was invented, thousands of years later to prevent infections. You’ll understand
that later, it’s a future innovation” God said
“From what Jesus is
saying, you knew Satan was gonna destroy my life and you allowed it.”
“Hang on, Job! Don’t
be like this. I allowed him touch everything you own asides your life.
Technically, your life was secure throughout” God said
“You gambled with my
life?” Job asked.
“It was a calculated
bet, you would win anyways” God said
“You knew I would
win” Job inquired, with a look of absolute befuddlement.
“Yes, I knew. You
know, with me being ALPHA & OMEGA, The beginning and the end, OMNIPRESENT
and OMNIPOTENT, those abilities come in highly needed.” God said
“Like how I know,
there will be Youtube, and you’ll see a lot of funny cat videos. When you
settle in, I will show you a couple of cat videos, and this funny black lady
that I saved from a fire, then goes aint-nobody-gat-time-fo-that. You’ll love
Youtube, Job… You’ll crack up.”
“Youtube, videos,
aint-nobody-gat-time-fo-dat. What are those?” Job asked
“They’re all future
things, thousands of years before they come to pass. You should try to keep up
better next time because aint-nobody-gat-time-fo-dat” God said cracking up.
Jesus joined in,
those videos are really hilarious dad, can’t get enough of them. Its what we’ve
been watching, after the morning praise session.
“Can we come back to
me right now? My travails and the fact that you allowed it” Job spoke as it
seems, God and Jesus were having laughs about something he had no idea about.
“Okay Job, Come’on,
don’t be such a killjoy. I know the plans I had for you even before you were
born from your mother’s womb” God said
Jesus nodded in
approval to God’s last sentence.
“What is a killjoy?”
Job asked a rhetorical question
“Don’t tell me!
Someone who tries to bring down the mood” Job said
God and Jesus nodded
in agreement as angels flew down and handed out smoothies to all 3 having the
conversation.
God and Jesus sucked
the straw a decent amount of the juice. Job observed both father and son enjoy
whatever it is the angels just delivered.
“Job, you gotta try
this drink out. It will B-L-O-W Y-O-U-R M-I-N-D” Jesus said
“Another product
from the future right” Jesus replied nodding consecutively not willing to stop
sipping the smoothie just to answer Job’s rhetorical question.
“Job, ever since I
and Jesus started drinking these smoothies, it has changed our lives forever.”
God said
Job gave a strong
stare, they both removed the straw from their mouth.
“God, why are you
speaking like this?”
“That’s the accent
of black people from the future. Everything is funny how they say it.” God
replied.
“I did everything
you wanted me to do, I dedicated my life and family to your will.” Job said
“And I know, and everyone
appreciates your sacrifice. Look all around you, you’re in heaven now” God
said, massaging Job’s shoulders.
“It all happened
back there Job, it’s in the past now” Jesus said.
“How about my
family, they are dead” Job said
“Yea, they’re dead
but they’re here.”
God said, “Please
can the Jobs come out, Daddy is here”
What God said
reverberated around the heavens, everyone gathered around the scene now.
Abraham, David, the angels and the council of elders.
From a distance, the
door of a mansion opened, and Job’s family came out running down the street to
meet Job where he stood.
Tears streamed down
Job’s eyes, as he once again was reunited with his family, God then whispered
into his ears the following.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward
you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an
expected end.
The heavens were in
jubilation as Job once again reunited with his family, the festivities of Job’s
arrival was close, the time for feast was near.
God and Jesus
watched Job and his family share 1001 kisses, the laughter in the face of the
children was un-measurable.
God faced Jesus and
told him “The end of a matter is better than its beginning; a patient spirit is
better than a proud spirit.”
“You’re right, Dad!”
Jesus said.
“You must start
preparing Jesus, your part in this will begin soon.” God said
They both continued
watching and sipping their smoothie.
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