Live In The Moment

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When an uncle said to me "Aisha You need to live in the moment" I was so confused as I did not understand what he meant, He further explained that I was always hurrying, rushing to find something or worse someone to complete me, he also said people like me never really enjoy life that we are always running for pillar to post to seek an illusion only us have created. This got me thinking so hard and coincidentally at that time of my life I was going to through a lot and identity crisis (a topic for another day) was one of them.
This uncle further asked me some thought provoking questions like who i was (of course i was quick to respond with the usual I am a young lady of integrity and blah blah) but he cut through the shit (pardon my french) and asked me who I really was, he told me that if I have not questioned my existence and actually get answers to them then I have not really lived. Now this  broke me down literately .

You see I'm the type of person who prays to God for admission, gets it, say my thank yous and the next minute i am asking for a job, then a raise, then a car (while wondering how am going to fuel or fix it when it breaks down), then husband (while fearing if one person will ever love me) and the lists goes on. Not that all this is bad in itself but the sad thing is I have not really enjoyed all these gifts, I have gotten them, checked the off and screamed NEXT then hurried to conquer the next quest. Oh! you will be deceived because I am one heck of an actress, I come bearing you with my smiles, I am the crazy one, the life of the party, while inside of me I'm looking out the window looking for the next new thing.

After all these my strained thinking and meditation I found out that I need an attitude change which involves a lot but for this case CONTENTMENT, and if I have told your story too we need to be MORE satisfied with what we have, we need to be more grateful and not necessarily wait for compliment to know we are beautiful/handsome, we need to create our own joy because we are usually the ones who gives joy to others. Others, we need you to help us, help us find our joy, compliment us, love us, cheer us on and don't neglect us. Then we can be better for ourselves.

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