Dads Are Precious Too

Hola Lovelies! I'm back at ya! Today I am writing on an issue we seldom discuss. I got the idea on a WHATSAPP group and I knew I had to lend my pen. As always please read, comment and share.

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You: Dad "I need 10k for my hand out and departmental dues"

Your Dad: "I thought I just gave you 5k last week for project material, you this child money does not grow on trees! your sister's fees still pending, even your mum just collected 20k for house upkeep, I am tired........"

You: Rolling your eyes as you zone out of the conversation, you murmur to yourself "this is why I prefer mummy, she will have given me something at least" 

Meanwhile, your Daddy was up all night thinking hard on how he will split the last 10k he has on him between himself, you & your sister. Next day, he gives you 3k, you squeeze your face like deformed eba and give the man a half baked "Thank you". 

Your mum after seeing all these back & forth, gives you 2k from her own possibly inflated 'house upkeep' money and tells you not to tell your dad, smile from nowhere will spread on your face like butter on bread, you quickly tweet, update your status with "I have the best Mum in the world, I love my Mum". Now your Dad has gone out again with just 1k in his pocket home and abroad to top up fuel or use as transport to work but he will never let you see this because he is a MAN.

The above illustration is very typical in almost every Nigerian home. The world, you and I inclusive owe most of our fathers apologies, we have robbed them of their glory and mostly handed it over to our mothers. Please do not get me wrong I understand the irreplaceable 9months of pregnancy and all those additional years of weaning and nurturing that would have caused a love bond between mother and child. I also acknowledge that there are some cowardly, irresponsible fathers who opt out and leave when they are actually needed, but there are some amazing dads who stay!.

Another time we deny our Dads of their glory is during our wedding ceremonies & even beyond, as the father of the bride or groom, most fathers are relegated to ATM (machines) where our mothers slot their cards of requests and our ever compliant dads vomit the money, most of them are not even consulted on some decisions. Also when we birth our babies, our mothers are usually the ones there during the pregnancy, this helps them to invest themselves in the journey and find purpose especially during the "Omugwo" days. Our mums become so invested in us that they sometimes leave our dads at home sometimes alone or with the "house help" whose job is to warm the variety of food that mum has cooked in bulk.

How quickly we forget that these fathers (who stay) fought hard & sacrificed a lot to put foods on our tables, provided accommodation and education. They are also disciplinarians, mentors, coaches and most of them best friends. Before you criticize me, yes! I know these are their responsibilities and you did not ask to be born by them but just as you are likely to be rewarded for being a well-behaved child (your responsibility), these dads also deserve to be loved & cherished.

Here you are reading my long epistle, feeling a twinge of guilt because it resonates with your soul and deep down you know this Winning11 girl is making sense oo. Please repent and do well by your Dad, love him optimally, cherish him wholeheartedly, adore him with beautiful compliments, the kind commensurate to the one you would your mum. However, if after reading this and you say Girl, you cannot understand the pain and hurt my father caused me, I sincerely advise that you find ways to heal completely, seek counsel, talk to someone (I am always here) but truly you have to forgive your father for you, not for him, trust me.

Thank you all for reading, please do not forget to read, share and comment! Love ya!